what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
