I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
