She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
