I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
