there was a trapeze. enough said
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
