Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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