I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
