I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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