Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
