Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
