week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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