what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
