Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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