"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
