I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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