so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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