My room smells like vodka and shame
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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