yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
