Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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