Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
