dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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