I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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