would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
