I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
