I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So apparently I’m into choking now
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