I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
