Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
