I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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