No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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