she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
