Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
