I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
