And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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