i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
