Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
