if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
