everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
