imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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