I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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