it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
