We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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