Where did you get a picture of my penis
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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