Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
