filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
