A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i out mim tonsoeep
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
