my vag is so smooth its legendary
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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