He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
