Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
