Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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