Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
