forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
